BRILLIANT!!!!!

Modern Toilet is a restaurant in Taipei, Taiwan with a modern decor and a full-on toilet theme. All 100 seats in the crowded diner are made from toilet bowls, not chairs. . Sink faucets and gender-coded "WC" signs appear throughout the three-storey facility, one of 12 in an island-wide chain of eateries. Would you like to taste the ice-cream shaped like faeces?
Probably not the best place to bring a child in potty training...

I'm done.

Seriously, I'm too fucking tired and too fucking old to deal with shit like this....I'm out...I'm walking....my mother has been drinking since I can remember, I cleaned up after her, refereed the fights, cooked for her, and even after she would call me a worthless bitch, I would tell her that I loved her and needed her to be there....I will always love my mother, but I can't take care of her anymore...I'm not the best daughter but I have tried my best to do everything I can....when someone is on top of you beating you, your instinct kicks in and yes I have hit my mother, I have hit her and screamed at her, and then when she lies to the cops that she never hit me, when she lies to our family, that she doesn't know why I can't stand to be at home, that she doesn't drink anymore....I keep my mouth shut, I take the responsibility so my mom wont go to jail, I look like the depressed ass so my mother can save face with our family...But I just can't do it anymore...I want out, I want to leave, but I have no car, and no job, I have classes that I have to attend and no other way but to stay....in hell...with mommy dearest...I love her though, she's my mom.

Relief...

A wieght has been lifted and replaced by a lighter one....
feelings of dred and depression are washing away now that your gone...I feel better, I'm sorry if it sounds cruel that I'm happy we have parted, but I am....
Everything is not perfect, but it is better, easier, I wear a smile now that isn't fake...I am me again...

I will always love the image of you that I painted....
Goodbye baby...
Hello world!

The infamous saying of my mother.

My mother is a charecter, a genious, and a riot to know.
She ofcourse has sayings that are all her own, even if she didn't say them first....
Her favorite is "Deny everything, demand proof."
then thiers "follow the money...if you want answers...follow the money."
and advice I get when it comes to life "Marry the millionare, fuck the pool boy."
"You can love a rich man just as much as a poor man." , "If you want to understand men, read an animal behavior book.", " All men are pigs, it's just a variation on the degree from noble hog to sour bacon." and lastly when it comes to love "I will teach you to marry a rich man, then divorce in five years and take all his shit." My mother may sound bitter but she's not...in her life she has married men she loved, and just about every case...it ended in divorce. She made her way in the toughest buisness in the 80's when women were rarely seen in that feild, and gained the repect of her peers. She was a bond broker...and made millions. But when it comes to me, she has always wanted me to be able to take what I wanted in the world with no regretes, to not do it the hard way as she did, but to enjoy every minute. I love her for that, she has reconized in me a quality of caring that often gets me in trouble...and I think she is trying to be extra strong for me. When I was 19 she told me to date a jockey...I'm 5'9, thier hieght average...4'3..."But mom thier short!" a lightning response reaches my ears "Johannah, when they stand on their wallet, thier not that fucking short, are they?"

My mother dated Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top, married Gene Goodwin who's family at one time owned a quarter of down town Memphis, was married to Rick Carns the presdient of the country music writing guild, and dated men that were compelling if not rich....but she was always her own women...see what I enheritted from my mother was not her want for me to be secure in the ways of marriage...but her strength and will power to do it on my own, like she did. I hate spending other peoples money, I like spending my money! and I will make it, I will do something, and I wont have to marry it, they will want to marry me for a meal ticket....but in another famous saying of my mothers..."fuck'em."

well it's funny....to me.

I know it may seem that I only write about the sad and depressing things that often permeate the fabric of my life, but I am what you call a pessimistic-optimist. I am a person who, expects the worst is going to happen, knows how it's going to happen, but prefers not to prepare for it because it's more entertaining when the shit hits the fan and no one has a rag to clean it up.

I am the person who laughs when my house is falling down, when the dog dies, when my relationship fails. Only because I knew it would happen. Only because ( in the famous words of Abraham Lincoln) " If I didn't laugh, I would cry." and I would cry everyday. Don't get me wrong, I will cry as you walk out on me, as I hold the dog in my arms, or as the crane pulls away from the rubble that was once my home...but it will be short, spurty and then I will go into a fit of hysterical laughter.

I geuss I just understand that when it comes down to it, life has its ups and downs...make the downs funny, and you will have less of them.