I'm done.

Seriously, I'm too fucking tired and too fucking old to deal with shit like this....I'm out...I'm walking....my mother has been drinking since I can remember, I cleaned up after her, refereed the fights, cooked for her, and even after she would call me a worthless bitch, I would tell her that I loved her and needed her to be there....I will always love my mother, but I can't take care of her anymore...I'm not the best daughter but I have tried my best to do everything I can....when someone is on top of you beating you, your instinct kicks in and yes I have hit my mother, I have hit her and screamed at her, and then when she lies to the cops that she never hit me, when she lies to our family, that she doesn't know why I can't stand to be at home, that she doesn't drink anymore....I keep my mouth shut, I take the responsibility so my mom wont go to jail, I look like the depressed ass so my mother can save face with our family...But I just can't do it anymore...I want out, I want to leave, but I have no car, and no job, I have classes that I have to attend and no other way but to stay....in hell...with mommy dearest...I love her though, she's my mom.