My little fallen angel....

She's my heart, my soul, my little fairy...
My little fallen angel, who fell just for me...
I couldn't live without her...
Dream, or be
without her...
My little wood nymph.

I met her in such a strange way,
as it happens, you meet the most interesting people
in strange ways...

She fell from a cloud,
into my lap, and never left that place between my breast.

She is the only person I would promise the moon and the stars,
because for her I would get them.
I would promise her the world and deliver it...She desevers it...

Everyday she has been apart of my life has been a day to remember,
to treasure...
A diamond in time.

If I were a man I would marry her,
I would take care of her all the days of her life and never let her go...
I would wisk her off to a castle,
I would take her to the edge of the world and back,
just so she knew that what ever she asked of me I would do,
So she knew how much I love her.

She is my best friend,
My sould mate,
My sister,
The Keeper of my heart..

My little fallen angel,
who fell from heaven
just for me.

I think I'm going knuts again....

I made out with one of my co-workers yeasterday after work, I slept with another co-worker before that...and wanted to lastnight too but he didn't come through...
I have been drinking a lot more and more often....
I can't have a normal relationship with a man without it turnig sexual, becuase I don't know how to relate any other way...
All I want is someone to lay next to me and stroke my back, while we watch a movie and fall asleep to the sound of the rain...to kiss me when I'm sad or upset, I want someone to cook for, to laugh with...
I want to touch his skin and cause him to get goose bumbs...
I want to slow dance in the kitchen, and fall asleep on the floor.....
Am I crazy? Am I asking to much?
Do I sound like a for lorn bleeding hearted emo teen....I think I do..
And I'm discusted with myself...Throughly.

what I have yet to have...

I dream, softly sometimes...sometimes painfuly hard.

I dream of the moments when I can lose myself in someones touch, in there breath...in thier scent. When is it my turn to get lost in the sound and rhythm of a beating heart?

The dreams come...never when I'm sleeping...never when I'm standing still.
It is dark when they come, when the phatom visits me.
He has no face,
no body,
no skin,
no voice...

But, I feel him there.
Outside my mind, yet not...contained inside...contained and
forever yearning for release.
Waiting for me to touch him...
I try, but all I touch is air.
Waiting for me to kiss him..
but his lips are never there.
I never ment to cage him,
he was trapped by his own will.

I read the stories,
I hear the stories..
I see the stories..
unfold.
For other people.
The colminating breath, the intense heat,
the throbing...the need.
The sweat, so sweet and salty.
They forget who they are, what they are, who is who and what is what.
And what more, they don't care.
Love is stopping time and speeding it up all at the same time.
Confusion is blurred by passion, need, surealisism, hope, happiness.
All thought is abliturated in an explotion so intense,
that if the energy where ever harnessed
it would be more powerful than a hundred suns.

Minds melt, and bodies merg as one,
for one
single
second...
Your soul is not alone.

I am a watcher,
I watch these moments in my mind and yearn for them in my heart.
I am lucky...I see what you can not and know what you could never comprehend.
But you are luckier then I...you feel them...I can't.
Because as a watcher I can never do what you do.
Stop watching.
I can't close my eyes.
not even for one second.
I can't be selfish for a moment so that I can lose myself in the feeling of it all.
I am caught in a trap.
The trap of the observer.
I watch,
I am never apart of it.

So my phantom and I are one in the same,
He is me,
I am him.
Equals in our cage.
The day someone releases us...

I wait impaitently to escape my captivity.