The Poetry of an Unfathomable Mind

I feel like just yammering on...about nothing, something...and in these times of unyielding thoughts that seem insane, amazing epiphanies can be found....the profound...endless streams of thought, rarely flowing seamlessly into one another...instead weaving a tapestry of beauty not seen by even the keenest of eyes and then as quickly as it was woven, it fades into the void never to be seen again...sadness forms as the thought of such fleeting pulchritudinous.Love can be so confusing, taking the mind on a ride close to what you see on an acid trip except instead of your mind seeing things, sensing things, it's your heart...as if your heart takes on a mind of its own....and though you try to explain what you know is right about what is going on with you and this other person...(weather it is right or wrong, good or bad {usually bad}) a smile or look from the object of your affection will completely erase all the hard worked explanations your brain went through...it is amazing how the most undeserving of your attentions seem to get the most of your attention.To make a woman smile in her eyes is such a difficult thing to accomplish, we can lie with our smiles and even our body language, bur our eyes never lie, and to smile with your eyes is true happiness.my foots asleepadvice for men on the pick up of women...guys tend to put their foot in their mouth more often then not when trying to pick up women....so to go around that problem...instead of walking up to a girl when chances are your not wanted, send the girl a drink...AND THEN STAY WHERE YOU ARE! do not and i repeat do not go over with the drink...send the drink over, smirk and then turn your attentions elsewhere....more often then not you have just started her mind moving in the direction of mystery...women, though some wont admit it, love mystery, and hate to be ignored...if you send a drink to a girl, smirk at her then ignore her she will be immediately interested in why you would do such a thing....once you have her in a conversation that she will most likely start, keep it simple, don't start running your mouth about yourself, ask her about herself more often, keep the mystery of who you are going, let her in on somethings but when it comes to you quickly change the subject...it will keep her interested longer....now a good salesmen will tell you...that in any sale you have about 30 minutes with a potential mark to sell the product...anymore then that, you fucked your sale...with women you have a varied window of about 15 minutes to (if your lucky) and hour. Watch her....during the conversation if her body language says anything like she's looking for her friends, the bathroom, anything...GET OUT QUICK...turn to her and say..."I'm going to get another drink at the bar, of you'd like to join me that would be nice, if not, it was nice to meet you." then walk away...the point of the matter is to end it before she gets the chance too.need more music...there...Religion is such a silly thing...it's not all bad...but for the most part it is....I don't think the devil is a bad guy, which most of you know, more like a business partner....but I am not liked by Christians at all for the very reason that I reason rather then pray...I'm not sorry to say that yes although praying will calm you down if something bad has happened or your in situation that is not exactly great...it wont fix the problem...you have to deliver yourself...it is sad that when you have accomplished something you contribute it to something unseen, the philosophy of a guiding hand...again weather good or bad..."the devil made me do it." " I'd like to thank Jesus for this award.". We do not like responsibility, and through out life must have a parenting figure...God being the ultimate Father figure...constantly away on business. I am not saying that I am without faith, that I do not pray at one time or another, that I don't hope to go to heaven when I die, that I don't hope that there is more then just what I see...what I am saying is that I don't have faith in YOUR God, everyone should have their own ideas about what they should believe and leave the rest of us to ours....I am not kidding, the last time I went to a Christian church I blurted out as I walked in the door "I feel like I'm about to burst into flames." because though the people were welcoming the ideas turned my stomach....what bothers me is that the christian God is so cold, yet he is adored for his mercy...what mercy? I ask you what happened to Adam, Eve, Jobe, His only son, Samuel, Sodom and Gamora, so many stories of pain and sacrifice to constantly prove your worthiness...I tell you, it just doesn't make sense, you silly religious people...you can still be rational, thoughtful, and be spiritual...take a stab at it...think, ask...In the bible God says word for word..."Question me" but I ask you rather then question him, question religion...is it truly satisfying your mind and heart in EVERY way?Drugs...oh how nice they can be, and how cruel they can turn on you....for me it was a very different experience with them then I had heard from anyone else...I would get sick once it started to become habitual....for instance weed gives me panic attacks now, but at one time I was a lovely stonner....coke, now that white pony makes me a very depressing person...I once had a friend ask me for some because they wanted to trip in a sense...trouble is it doesn't make reality different, it just makes you move through it quicker...I get so emotional and talkative I want to shoot myself in the face with how annoying I get...Zanax on the other hand had always been a true friend of mine...lovely little pill, trouble is I got in trouble with them and ended up forgetting about them...strange...but I have had them recently...weird thing is I never had them with alcohol before and I never will again...straight black out....not a fan.To make love is something I am just learning to do...it was the same with everyone for such a very long time....either my self-conciousness, or the fact that I was merely with the person out of sympathy, or I would trick myself into liking them...so the longer I stayed the more I felt I should love them or have sex with them...that maybe sex would help me to feel for them...sad huh....It is very difficult to separate myself my body and actually feel pleasure....at one time, all the lights had to be off and there had to be music on, if the guy said anything I was que to moan, I had to be the best he ever had, ever would have, and could never find again...I have to still be the best at everything involved when it comes to relationships and especially sex....but now it doesn't bother me as much to have the lights on. My sister told me something once...."Fucking is great and to cum is better, but there is no better orgasm then the one you have with someone you love." I no longer have a problem of loving someone...my only problem is disconnecting, is to be selfish a little while making love....instead of needing to be the best for him, take the best from him...there will probably be no better sight that he will see then me in the grasp of a true frenzy....and in that hopefully we will cum at the same time, and it will be as they say, you are one being, for one tenth of an inconceivable second.It's funny how assorted subjects can effect your grammar as well as your vocabulary...look at the beginning of this rant and see the anomalies...it's almost if another person wrote various portions.well I'm tired now.. so I shall leave you to ponder, when you wonder threw the incongruous valleys of my mind.